SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

April 30, 2013

Dear Abby: If three’s a crowd, five is a guarantee of misery

(Continued)

My fear is now that the kids are getting older, they may want to form a relationship with her later on. I don’t want to seem selfish, but they are MY kids. Any girl can have a baby, but it takes a real woman to be a mom. How should I handle this when that time comes?

:Dreading the Future in Arizona

:Dear Dreading the Future: It is natural for children to want to know who their biological parents are; that’s the reason adoption records are no longer sealed. You appear to fear that your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend will want to swoop in and steal your maternal spotlight. From all indications, it’s not the case; you are the only mother they know.

If the children want information about their birth mother, the truth should not be kept from them. Meeting her does not guarantee they will love you any less. Worrying about it is self-defeating.

:Dear Abby: What is the protocol for in-person conversations vs. phone interruptions (either via text or call)? When talking with someone, I feel it’s rude for the other individual to respond to voice or text messages. Can’t people take a break long enough to actually have a real, LIVE conversation? How do other readers handle this? Do they walk away? Patiently wait? Or speak up?

:Technologically Overloaded

:Dear Overloaded: The best approach is the direct approach. Tell the person, “I wish you wouldn’t do that.”

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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