We all avoid her because we know she’ll ask for money, but we also have to work with her every day. Times are tough for everyone, and it’s irritating that she thinks she’s the only one with money problems.
Is there anything we can do short of ganging up on her and telling her to leave us all alone?
:Also Feeling The Pinch In Utah
Dear Also Feeling The Pinch: The next time the woman asks for a loan, tell her you’re not in the loan business, and that you’re not the only one who feels put upon. Suggest that unless she wants to become an outcast she will stop asking for money because it has made everyone uncomfortable. If she persists after that, report what she’s doing to HR as a group.
:Dear Abby: I have a friend who was raised Catholic. I’m not Catholic, and every time I attend a wedding or funeral for one of her family members I feel uncomfortable and awkward. I often sit in the very back pew to go unnoticed.
The Catholic Church offers beautiful, unique customs that I am simply ignorant about — like when to sit, kneel, recite, take bread, etc. I feel if I don’t comply with customs at these events, I might come off as rude or disrespectful. On the other hand, if I do try, my ignorance may appear just as rude and disrespectful.
What is the right thing to do in situations like these? I want to be respectful of any religion.
:Mannerly In Indiana
Dear Mannerly: No rule of etiquette demands that you participate in the rituals of another person’s religion. If you feel uncomfortable sitting while others kneel or stand, then follow their lead. Or, continue to sit quietly at the back of the church as you are doing, which is perfectly acceptable. However, only members of the congregation in good standing should take communion.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.