SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

July 8, 2013

Dear Abby: Husband, wife don’t agree on what cheating means

:Dear Abby: At what point is a relationship with a member of the opposite sex considered “cheating”? I have recently discovered that my husband was having a more-than-friendly relationship with a co-worker. He set up a post office box for her so she could write to him while she was away for an extended period.

I found her letters and read them. They described how she missed my husband and “couldn’t wait to feel” his arms around her and his lips on hers again. She said he had shown her what real true love can be. She is 12 years younger than he is.

My husband says they never had sex but did kiss on several occasions, and he enjoyed their deep, open conversations. Because my husband is not a big conversationalist, that has been very hard for me. The idea that he had meaningful conversations with this woman hurts me more than the physical things they admit to.

He says it’s not actually cheating if they never slept together. I say, with everything he has admitted to and the fact he has opened up to her in ways I have begged him to with me, he has DEFINITELY cheated!

This is the second time in our 16-year marriage this kind of thing has happened. Obviously, his definition of cheating is not the same as mine. I say an emotional affair is almost worse than a physical one. He sees cheating as sex only.

:Hurt And Lonely In New England

:Dear Hurt And Lonely: When someone gets a post office box so that he or she can carry on a furtive romantic correspondence, it is cheating. When he kisses and embraces someone in a romantic fashion, that’s cheating, too. When he confides his deepest feelings to a woman other than his wife, what he does is widen the gulf between them.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Lifestyle
  • Jenson1 Salsa spirit Dance party will benefit Jazz & Soul Festival Salsa spirit

    April 24, 2014 1 Photo

  • rhinaespaillat Survival through art Rhina Espaillat met many survivors of the Holocaust when she was growing up in New York and was often impressed by their strength of mind. "I was always surprised to meet people who came through the Holocaust not only physically whole, but mentally w

    April 24, 2014 1 Photo

  • 140422_SN_HAND_READERSEYE The reader's eye Name: Sarah Rydgren Hometown: Salem Description: Taken during a ride through the Kancamagus Highway in New Hampshire last week. I love the mountains, and this stretch of highway is one of my favorite roads to travel. I am a self-taught photographer a

    April 24, 2014 1 Photo

  • shellfish North Shore Entertainment Calendar

    Good causes LIBRARY FUNDRAISER AND STORY PROGRAM. Thursday, April 24, 1 to 4 p.m., Swizzles Frozen Yogurt, 421 Paradise Road, Vinnin Square, Swampscott. Swampscott Public Library fundraiser features a free story and music program for children of all

    April 24, 2014 4 Photos

  • benefitrace Good cause Racing for a reason On Sunday, Salem State University hosts its 18th annual North Shore Fitness 5K Road Race and Fun Walk, starting at 9 a.m. at the O'Keefe Sports Complex, 225 Canal St., Salem. Advance registration is $18 for Gassett Fitness members

    April 24, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dear Abby: Parents appalled by man’s indifference to son Dear Abby: My 23-year-old son, "Wayne," who is single, has a 3-year-old son. We didn't learn about the child until he was more than a year old, when Wayne was asked to take a paternity test. Luckily, we have been able to form a good relationship wit

    April 24, 2014

  • Thursday's Best Bets Best Bets for Thursday, April 24

    Looking for something to do today? Here are The Salem News' Best Bets:

    April 24, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dear Abby: Married couple’s sex life is all about the numbers Dear Abby: I have been married to a wonderful man for 30 years. Our marriage may not be perfect, but it's quite good. My dilemma is this: My husband keeps track of every time we have sex and has a personal goal of 100 times a year. In 2013, he infor

    April 23, 2014

  • Wednesday's Best Bets Best Bets for Wednesday, April 23

    Looking for something to do today? Here are The Salem News' Best Bets:

    April 23, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dear Abby: Don't meddle in office affair unless it interferes with work

    Dear Abby: I manage a group of 15 employees. A few months ago, I hired the wife of an old friend. Until now she has been a great employee, but recently, she and a male co-worker have been taking lunches and breaks together in a way that leads me to b

    April 22, 2014

NDN Video
Comments Tracker