SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

August 3, 2013

Dear Abby: Teen bemoans boyfriend’s influence on mom

:Dear Abby: I am a 17-year-old girl who lives with my mother and my mother’s boyfriend. This man has changed my world, and not for the better. The one person I ever cared about has practically turned against me.

My mom tried killing herself for this man and chose him over me after she was released from the institution. I have been diagnosed with depression and have also tried to kill myself. I also have a habit of cutting myself. I stopped, but lately I have been wanting to start again. The only thing that has held me back is her threats of committing me to an institution.

She threatened my boyfriend with the police if he ever spoke to me again after we broke up. When I confronted her, she insisted that she was right and someday I’d understand. She has turned into this person I hardly know, and it’s because of her boyfriend’s influence. Before, when she was upset she would just not talk to me, but now she calls me the most horrid things and won’t apologize unless someone besides me tells her.

I honestly do want to kill myself, but I haven’t because I know it isn’t the right thing to do, even if it may seem right. I have tried talking to her. She won’t listen to me. What should I do?

:Hopeless And Alone In Florida

Dear Hopeless And Alone: Because you honestly do want to harm yourself, contact the doctor who diagnosed you with depression. However, if this is about your mother breaking up your romance by threatening to involve the police, you need to understand that the tactic wouldn’t have worked unless he had something to fear.

The level of conflict in your home is not healthy. If you are still in school, discuss this with a trusted teacher or school counselor. In one more year you will be 18 and able to make decisions for yourself, but they shouldn’t be based on your mother or her boyfriend. They need to be about what is truly best for you.

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