How long should a family who has suffered a loss receive meals? I want to be a comfort, but I don’t know them that well.
Unsure In Georgia
Dear Unsure: When a death happens, people often rush to console the grieving family. More help is offered than can be accepted in the weeks that follow, and then people drift away.
It is not too late to offer Beverly and her family a home-cooked meal. Call her, make the offer and I’m sure it will be gratefully accepted.
Dear Abby: Every year we go to my brother’s home for Thanksgiving. His wife, “Kelly,” is a vegetarian. She will not eat meat and forces all of her guests to follow her strict diet, so every year we are forced to eat tofu turkey.
I brought up the idea of possibly having both a tofu turkey and a regular turkey, but that made my sister-in-law extremely angry. She called me an animal hater and told me I would rot in hell for all of eternity if I continued to sin by eating meat.
I love my brother very much and would hate to compromise our relationship, but every year this causes a fuss at Thanksgiving, and I’d like to avoid it this year. Any advice would be much appreciated.
Tofu-Ed Out In Wisconsin
Dear Tofu-Ed Out: No law says you must dine at your brother’s home every year. Either alternate hosting the Thanksgiving dinner (when it’s at your house, Kelly can bring tofu turkey for herself — if she decides to attend) or make other plans for a traditional dinner elsewhere. You are not going to change your sister-in-law, and this would be the logical way to avoid an argument.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.