Do you think it’s rude for guests to show up 10 or more minutes early? I enjoy hosting, but I need the last few minutes before party time for ME, so I can get dressed, light candles, put out the food or just plain relax for a few minutes. Your thoughts, please.
Wesley Chapel, Fla.
:Dear Wondering: I agree with you. Guests with good manners show up at the appointed time. While arriving 15 minutes late is acceptable, to arrive early is an imposition on one’s host.
Dear Abby: My young married daughter, “Megan,” has a problem with a neighbor. This woman has a family of her own, but is in Megan’s business so much she is now actually taking my grandbaby out to eat at restaurants and seems to want people to think the baby is hers.
I have spoken to Megan about this. She doesn’t like what is going on, but feels powerless to stop it. This neighbor does a lot for my daughter, and Megan doesn’t want to hurt her feelings. What can she say that will put this woman in her place and make her realize that my daughter’s family is not up for grabs?
Dear Mom: Megan is NOT “powerless.” As the mother of that child, all she has to do is start saying no. If the neighbor asks for an explanation, she should reply that what’s going on is making her uncomfortable. Period. There is no need to be unkind about it — just firm.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.