Dear Cashed Out: There is a difference between giving people money to enable them to continue making poor choices and giving them money if they are really in need. Because your relatives helped you when you needed money to tide you over, there is a moral obligation for you to reciprocate if they are truly in need.
Dear Abby: When I met my husband, he was married. I told him at first that I was not interested. But as time went on, he ended up divorcing his wife. We have been together for 11 years, married for three.
The problem is his kids. They are all adults. His youngest was 15 when he left. The daughter is angry and blames me for his leaving. This was not the first time he had left her mother. He had a child from another relationship who was conceived during one of his absences.
I am getting tired of the drama, and I’m about ready to divorce him for my peace of mind. During the time we have been together, he has never strayed and has always been there for me. Should we divorce?
Second Wife in California
Dear Second Wife: Heck, no! If you love your husband, stick with him. Because your husband’s daughter is creating drama, he should set her straight. She may feel that he didn’t love HER enough to stay, when the truth is that his marriage to her mother had been on the rocks for years. He should also make sure she understands that if she wants him in her life, she will need to make an attitude adjustment.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.