I have sought professional help to cope with her behavior, but the suggestions haven’t helped much. The situation is becoming unbearable, and I don’t see it changing any time soon. What should I do?
Unbearable in Virginia
Dear Unbearable: The suggestions haven’t helped because you weren’t the person who needed the professional help; your wife does. In a moment when she is calm, tell her that as much as you care about her and your child, you do not intend to spend the rest of your life being her verbal whipping boy, and if she doesn’t get help for her anger issues, you will leave. If she refuses, you should follow through and make sure you get equal custody, if not more, because her volatility could be harmful to your child.
Dear Abby: We are a pair of senior citizens who are very much in love. We have a lot in common and enjoy our companionship. Marriage is not an option because of pensions, bank accounts and predetermined heirs — you know the story.
We would like the whole world to know we are committed and devoted to each other. Would it be unusual, at this late stage, to become engaged with no intention of setting a wedding date?
Blissful in Florida
Dear Blissful: Rather than become engaged with no intention of formalizing your union, why not have a commitment ceremony and invite friends and family to celebrate your love for each other with you? Ask a member of the clergy to bless your union. I’m sure one would oblige because it has been done before.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.