I told her that while I respect her wish to express herself, I do not want to pay for something like that. I said if she wants a tattoo and a piercing, she will have to save her money and get them. She became upset with me and said I should give her what SHE wants instead of something I prefer.
I know there are things Shannon needs. Am I selfish for not wanting to give her a tattoo or piercing when I’d rather spend my money on something more practical like shoes, clothing or incidentals?
Sensible Mom in Texas
Dear Sensible Mom: If you are uncomfortable paying for a body modification for your daughter, then don’t do it. However, you should take into consideration that Shannon is an adult now and reconsider imposing your values on her.
If she were my daughter, I would give her a check for Christmas along with a note expressing holiday wishes and the thought that you gave her a healthy body and, with it, a nice complexion. It is now hers to do with as she wishes. Then cross your fingers and hope she’ll have second thoughts.
Dear Abby: One of my neighbors insisted on giving me some handcrafted Christmas decorations that are hideous. I have never been big on decorating the outside of my home for the holidays, but when I do, I have my own that I like much better.
I know she expects me to display her items and will be all bent out of shape when she sees I haven’t. Is there a diplomatic way to avoid hurt feelings?
Dear Reader: Not really. So hang one or two of them in an inconspicuous place when you decorate for the holidays, so they will be “lost” among the items you prefer to display, or refrain from decorating this year.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.