SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

December 15, 2012

Dear Abby: Dad drops by college too often for independence-minded kids

:Dear Abby: I’m a senior in high school and will be off to college next year. Like my older brother, I will be attending a school 30 minutes from home.

A problem he has, and that I’m worried about, is setting boundaries with our father. Dad works near the college and insists on stopping by to visit my brother at least once a week. If my brother refuses to meet with him, Dad guilt-trips him and gets angry.

I want to experience independence in college. How can I avoid this problem and set visitation boundaries with my father?

College-Bound in Georgia

Dear College-Bound: So many people your age who write to me have no father involved in their lives at all, and you appear to have a little too much. I agree that by the time a student reaches college, it is time for more independence than your father seems willing to give your brother.

If your mother is in the picture, perhaps she could reason with your dad. However, if that’s not possible, your brother — and you — may have to transfer to other schools to put some distance between you.

Dear Abby: My boyfriend and his 4-year-old daughter live with me and my two children. We keep our finances separate. I am self-employed and work mostly from home. I also take care of the household chores.

My problem is that he thinks because I work from home I should take care of his daughter during the day, versus her going to day care. My schedule is very full, and I enjoy being able to work from home without the interruptions of having to play nanny while my children are in school. However, I feel guilty about not helping him out on this.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Lifestyle
  • Poundstone2 Wait, wait ... it's Paula Paula Poundstone often makes fun of her own awkward appearance, which she emphasizes by wearing men's ties and wide-lapel suits. "Is it me, or do I have the worst posture in the history of the world?" she asks in one routine. "I hope to eventually go

    April 17, 2014 2 Photos

  • mainstage 'Servant of Two Masters' designed to keep you laughing The Mainstage Theatre at Salem State, which will shut its doors in June, opened 30 years ago to the sound of laughter. With performances this weekend and next of Carlo Goldoni's "The Servant of Two Masters," it's going to close that way, as well. "

    April 17, 2014 2 Photos

  • fishes North Shore Entertainment Calendar Music MUSIC AT GULU-GULU. Shows are at 8 p.m. unless otherwise noted, at Gulu-Gulu Cafe, 247 Essex St., Salem. Thursday, April 17, David Simmons Annual Theme Night, a Simon and Garfunkel Tribute; Friday, April 18, Lowman, alternative; Saturday, April

    April 17, 2014 3 Photos

  • 140415_SN_HAND_READERSEYE The reader's eye Name: Corey Kramer Hometown: Beverly Description: "I pass by this view every day on my way to school. This photo was taken at Endicott Beach. I enjoy taking photos of nature, which does not require human recognition to show its beauty. I have done ve

    April 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • riverhouse Good cause Cheer on the Red Sox, support the River House Everyone is invited to watch the Red Sox game at the second annual Danvers Community Lunch from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Monday in the parking lot of Maple Street Congregational Church, 90 Maple St. Cheer on the Sox as they play the Baltimore Orioles and pa

    April 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dear Abby: Father of four is selfish to put health at risk Dear Abby: I am a 34-year-old wife and mother of four. I'm concerned about my husband. He is 44 and drinks at home every evening after work. I don't mind him having a few cans of beer, but he drinks between six and 12 a day. He refuses to see a doct

    April 17, 2014

  • Thursday's Best Bets Best Bets for Thursday, April 17

    Looking for something to do today? Here are The Salem News' Best Bets:

    April 17, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dear Abby: Cellphone snoop discovers boyfriend is cheating

    Dear Abby: I have been in a long-distance relationship with "Victor" for several years. Recently, I began to suspect he was cheating. What raised my suspicion was that I suddenly couldn't reach him on the weekends. Usually, we would Skype -- Sunday n

    April 16, 2014

  • Wednesday's Best Bets Best Bets for Wednesday, April 16

    Looking for something to do today? Here are The Salem News' Best Bets:

    April 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dear Abby: Signs of an abuser apply to women as well as men Dear Abby: I read your Jan. 8 column about the warning signs of an abuser. Would you use your influence to say that men are also victims of abuse? My son was in a three-year relationship with a woman who scored 15 out of 15 on your list. We knew it

    April 15, 2014

NDN Video
Comments Tracker