Q: What can I do about a person who is very high in my organization who continually misspells my last name, even in printed publications? I have reminded her nicely at least twice of the spelling of my last name. Now, I see it misspelled on a printed publication she is sending out to thousands of contacts. This is really annoying and seems somewhat disrespectful, as well.
A: I highly recommend that you pay a quick and cheery visit to this person's administrative assistant. Be smiley, light and breezy. "Good morning, Sue, do you have a minute? I know this may seem minor, but it is important to me. I have noticed that my name is spelled incorrectly on some of the office documentation. Do you know what I can do to make sure it is correct going forward?" If the assistant is at all professional, he/she will take the time to correct the spelling on a master list and keep an eye out for future listings.
If that does not work, you may need to have your boss speak directly with the high-level individual. "I know you have a lot on your plate and this may seem like a small issue, but with Sarah's name being listed as the point person for my department, I need to make sure her name is spelled correctly so colleagues and clients can find her easily."
Q: I'm wondering if it's tacky to send wedding guests a copy of our wedding video in the thank-you notes. I understand that the video means far more to us, but I was also thinking that many people like to see themselves and almost everyone is in the video at one point or another.
A: Congratulations on your recent marriage! The time and expense of sending all of your guests copies of your wedding video may be prohibitive. Instead, you should consider uploading the video to your wedding website or to a video-sharing website. Then send an e-mail to guests inviting them to watch. If anyone specifically requests a copy, you can certainly oblige.
Q: I need to switch my children's hairdresser ASAP, but she is a friend and a neighbor, so it is kind of touchy. My children and I went regularly. My husband got a buzz cut every now and again. She came to our house. My sister often made fun of the uneven bangs and weird pieces here and there, but I just kept blowing it off and was happy with the money I was saving.
This last session was the end of the line. She butchered both of my boys' hair so badly that I felt like a negligent mom sending them to school like that. I took them to a new salon to fix the messes, and the hairdresser there could not believe her eyes. The new salon stylist did the best she could but asked me to bring the boys back in a few weeks, free of charge, so she could touch up a bit more and help the hair to grow in properly. I don't want to hurt my neighbor's feelings or create any type of animosity, but I really can't send my boys back there.
A: It is very tough to transition to a new hairdresser, especially if your old one happens to be a friend and neighbor. But having to visit another stylist after a haircut to make your heads presentable is just plain silly. If your old hairdresser asks you directly, be gentle. Something such as, "Bob has been taking the boys to the doughnut shop and for buzz cuts as a daddy-bonding activity. Plus it gives me some much-needed quiet time in the house every few weeks." Then move the conversation along: "So, have you seen the addition they are putting up on Rose Lane?" The fact that her skills as a stylist are no longer up to par is a realization she will need to come to herself.
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Jodi R.R. Smith is a nationally known etiquette expert and author. She is the president of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting. You are invited to e-mail her your etiquette emergencies at Salem@Mannersmith.com.
