My mother is extremely wealthy. She is very involved with my family and we both do things to help each other out. I mow the grass in her large yard every week.
She sees me struggling, yet she makes no offer to help financially. I am becoming resentful about it. If she helped, it would not change her lifestyle at all. My wife’s family is the opposite. Her parents aren’t wealthy, but they have done everything within their power to help their children. I know how I will treat MY kids.
Am I wrong to feel resentment because my mother has decided differently? Or should I just “grow up”?
Frustrated In North Carolina
Dear Frustrated: If you have discussed with your mother that you are under extreme financial pressure and she has refused to help, then I can see why you might feel some resentment. My question is, HAVE you talked to her about it? That would be the “grown-up” thing to do. The worst she can say is no. If she does, what you will need to do is take a part-time job to help with the bills — even if it means you mow your mother’s lawn less often.
Dear Abby: Next month will be our 25th anniversary. My wife and I are permanently separated, but will not divorce because she would lose health coverage under my employer’s plan. How do I acknowledge this “landmark” — or should I just ignore it, since it isn’t really a celebratory event?
Not Quite An Ex In The South
Dear Not Quite An Ex: If you and your wife are on speaking terms, call her and say something nice. Or send her a card. If you’re not on friendly terms, then diplomatically ignore the landmark.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.