SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

October 17, 2012

Dear Abby: Teen having unprotected sex causes concern for stepmom

:Dear Abby: My 15-year-old stepson, “Justin,” doesn’t drink or do drugs. For the most part, he stays out of trouble. The problem is, he has been caught for the third time having unprotected sex.

My anger isn’t at Justin so much as at his parents, obviously his father. Justin has lied repeatedly about this. His father lets him get away with many things, for the most part minor.

But this is different. A 15-year-old boy can’t take care of a baby, and having sex with multiple partners means exposing everyone involved to STDs.

My husband is a smart man, but for some reason he seems to think this will end well. I worry about his son becoming a father too soon and missing out on his full potential. My husband and his ex have dealt with this by trying to ignore it, and for the most part I haven’t involved myself. But the more I think about it, the more I see the danger of Justin’s life being changed forever because his parents don’t want to make him unhappy for a minute.

I love my husband and stepson. Allowing this to continue isn’t the right path for anyone. Am I overreacting? If not, what can I do that won’t cause a huge blowup with my husband?

Alarmed in Chicago

Dear Alarmed: You’re not overreacting. Your husband is doing his son no favors by enabling his irresponsible behavior instead of asserting himself and acting like a parent. Justin may think that fathering a child will make him a “real man.” But unless your husband can get through to him that REAL men take care of themselves and their partners, and REAL men don’t risk bringing children into the world they can’t take care of, then face it: He’s letting his son play baby roulette, and it’s only a matter of time until he’ll be a grandpa.

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