:Dear Let Down: Your wife should make no decisions about future celebrations while she’s angry. If she follows through on her impulse to boycott all family events, she will be cutting her nose off to spite her face.
On those occasions when it’s not possible to attend extended family gatherings, celebrating with immediate family seems like a sensible solution. Or consider hosting the celebration yourselves so you can set the party time.
Your wife may have self-esteem issues that need to be addressed if she’s taking this personally. As a nurse caring for the most fragile of infants, she’s doing important work that should be respected. Please tell her to remind herself of that fact any time she feels “unimportant” because her efforts make the difference between life and death.
:Dear Abby: I got pregnant by a man I’ll call “Ryan,” who was just a fling. When I told him, he told me to have an abortion. He even had a friend of his call, offer to pay for it and drive me.
Instead, I decided to “abort” Ryan from my life. I never told him when our baby was born. Part of me feels bad because I think every child should know his/her father and family members. Another man has been willing to step up and be a daddy for my child.
Should I even bother to let Ryan know? Should I give him a chance to rise to the occasion or keep things the way they are?
:Living my Life in Indiana
:Dear Living Your Life: This is really a question you should ask a lawyer, just in case Ryan has already risen as much as he intends to. Whether or not someone has stepped up to be your baby’s daddy, Ryan has a financial obligation to that child.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.