SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

May 10, 2013

Having low expectations can make your Mother's Day

(Continued)

In fact, the “perfectly” orchestrated Mother’s Day reminds me of one of those elementary school take-home projects where the best come back looking like they should be in Good Housekeeping and everyone knows they “took a village” to make; parents, neighbors and relatives combined time, labor and money. For moms who imagine that kind of celebration, well, I hope it happens.

They should know, however, that a Martha Stewart-like event probably involves people other than their children, maybe some they don’t really like. They should also realize a day where presentation is paramount may be less about the mother/child relationship and more about appearance.

My advice? Mothers, please accept reality. If your children are typical (and most are), then don’t expect a Hallmark Mother’s Day; it may not be in the cards at all. Yet it’s also not helpful to play the denial game and say you’re not expecting anything. No matter what happens, you’ll still be disappointed when the script you’ve written in your head isn’t followed. Be honest with yourself upfront; it’s a lower drop to Earth.

What moms can hope for is less hassle when they ask to take some time for themselves. Whether a mom decides to spend Mother’s Day with family or at her child’s Little League game, going to a movie or shopping, having a massage or a manicure, whatever hip activity she chooses, her family will likely accept it. Once she’s communicated clearly and the family knows her desires, they’ll probably step up so she can take those hours off from the mommy role.

For instance, if a mom chooses to attend her son’s baseball game on Mother’s Day, others can take over her usual responsibilities for organizing logistics, gear, etc. Maybe family members encourage her to listen to music she likes or to sit wherever she wants to watch the game. It’s the little things that matter most on this day, and that means helping moms take a break from the deluge of choices and responsibilities they daily acquiesce to or oversee.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Lifestyle
  • This weekend's Best Bets Best Bets for Saturday, July 26

    Looking for something to do today? Check out The Salem News' Best Bets:

    July 26, 2014 1 Photo

  • North Shore religion news in brief Congregation Shirat Hayam is offering a free, five-week Hebrew Reading Crash Course on Tuesdays at 7:30 p.m. from Sept. 2 through Oct. 7, at the synagogue, 55 Atlantic Ave., Swampscott. Led by Nancy Miller, the course is open to the community and is

    July 26, 2014

  • North Shore religion calendar Wednesday, July 30 Book Club, 7 p.m., Aviv Centers for Living, 240 Lynnfield St., Peabody. Women of all ages are invited to a free book group with conversations about Jewish identity. Group will discuss "The Harem Midwife" by Roberta Rich. RSVP to Sh

    July 26, 2014

  • Dear Abby: Teen is looking for direction after high school graduation Dear Abby: I am an 18-year-old high school senior who is scared about what's going to happen after graduation. For the past three years I have known exactly where I'll be and what I will be doing in the general sense. Now that I have one more year to

    July 26, 2014

  • macaws Vet Connection: Pet birds need training, social interaction and time out of the cage People are fascinated with the big colorful birds on display at Animal Kingdom and wild bird sanctuaries. It's always fascinating to see someone walking down the street with a big-beaked bird on his or her shoulder as a companion. We are all drawn to

    July 25, 2014 1 Photo

  • Ask Dog Lady: Her little dog is obsessed with food Dear Dog Lady: I have a 3-year-old, long-coated Chihuahua named Mexipep (after a brand of hot sauce). She has many fine attributes -- she's very sweet, not nervous and barky like the short-coated Chihuahuas can be. On the subject of food, however, th

    July 25, 2014

  • howe Book Notes: Local novelist sees ‘conversion’ syndrome in witch trials The parallels between 1692 and today are so close, they're frightening. That's one conclusion you could draw from reading "Conversion," Marblehead resident Katherine Howe's new novel, which compares the world of the Salem Witch Trials to the life of

    July 25, 2014 1 Photo

  • vehicles Quick pick: Festival of vehicles

    Festival of vehicles Take a ride over to the Hamilton-Wenham Public Library for the 16th annual Vehicle Night on Wednesday from 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. The festival of fire trucks, emergency vehicles, cruisers and snow plows takes place in the library park

    July 25, 2014 1 Photo

  • Friday's Best Bets Best Bets for Friday, July 25

    Looking for something to do today? Here are The Salem News' Best Bets:

    July 25, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dear Abby: Tyke becomes a terror when mom takes back her cellphone Dear Abby: When my friend "Fran" and I get together with our kids, they often play games on her cellphone until the battery dies. If she tries to take the phone from her 6-year-old to make a call or recharge the phone, he starts yelling at her, pushe

    July 25, 2014

NDN Video
Comments Tracker