, Salem, MA


May 22, 2013

Dear Abby: Gender reassignment involves more than a lifestyle change


How can people be jealous about money received from such a tragedy? Would they really want to lose a family member in exchange for cash? Please ask people to be more considerate in a situation where a child has paid a far greater price than any check in the mail could cover.

:Surviving Mom In Illinois

:Dear Mom: I’m sorry for your loss. People, particularly in a difficult economy, can become jealous if they think someone is getting “something for nothing.” (And depending upon how dysfunctional a family is, they might indeed be willing to “lose” a family member in exchange for cash.)

I’m passing your sentiments along, but my advice to you is to stop discussing finances unless there is a specific reason why the person you’re talking to must have that information.

Dear Abby: My mother-in-law picks her nose in front of others by covering her finger with a tissue and then digging deep into her nose. She claims this is acceptable behavior even though the rest of us are grossed out. She refuses to stop unless somebody like you tells her otherwise.

Please help with this. I have a 7-year-old daughter who sees her, and I don’t want her to think this is proper behavior in public.

:Grossed Out

:Dear Grossed Out: It’s one thing to use a tissue for a gentle nose-blow, and quite another to use it as camouflage for a major excavation. That your MIL is grossing out those around her should be evidence enough that what she’s doing is bad manners. It is showing lack of consideration for those around her.


Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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