, Salem, MA


September 29, 2012

Dear Abby: Girlfriend refuses to see man’s writing on the wall


Normal Teen In Orinda, Calif.

Dear Teen: You are a born negotiator. Instead of taking your punishment, you’re trying for a plea bargain. I wouldn’t be surprised if in the future you become a successful lawyer.

However, regarding your question — I’m not getting in the middle of this one. And I’m pretty sure that this is a punishment you won’t soon forget. Bon appetit!

Dear Abby: My aunt has been diagnosed with a progressive form of dementia and has had to be permanently hospitalized. She is no longer able to perform basic life functions and also has violent outbursts. Her prognosis is not good, and she’ll likely die within a year.

I’m engaged and getting ready to send out invitations to my wedding. However, I’m unsure how to address the invitation to my uncle.

My aunt will almost certainly be alive at the time of my wedding, but there is no possible way she can attend. It seems wrong to ignore her existence and address the invitation only to “Mr. John Smith.” But it feels equally wrong to address it to “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith,” knowing she cannot attend. Your advice would be greatly appreciated.

Polite Bride-To-Be In Connecticut

Dear Polite Bride-To-Be: Address the invitation to both your aunt and uncle, but when you do, include a sweet note saying you understand that she won’t be able to attend, but hope that he will be able to join you on your special day. I’m sure it will be appreciated.


Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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