SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

January 7, 2013

Dear Abby: Benefit payments go digital to save money and improve safety

(Continued)

Dear Abby: My husband passed away a year ago. Four days after his funeral, I received my copy of the church pictorial directory. My husband and I had posed together for our picture. Abby, they used the same photo with his image cropped out.

I don’t have words to describe how shocked and hurt I felt when I saw it. While I am healing well, knowing that my husband is happy in heaven, that cropped photo still hurts. It is also being displayed on a bulletin board with members’ pictures, along with two new widows’ cropped photos.

Am I being overly sensitive? I’m certain nobody meant any harm. Still, I can’t imagine anyone would have done this to a family photo if a child had died. Should I address the problem? I’d love to know what other widows and widowers think about this.

Slashed Apart in Florida

Dear Slashed Apart: Handle this by telling whoever is in charge of that pictorial directory, and the bulletin board, how you felt when you saw the photo. Then tell the person — and if necessary the clergyman — that you would like a replacement photograph taken and displayed. I am 100 percent sure the other widows will appreciate it because what happened was extremely insensitive.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips.Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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