SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

January 28, 2013

Dear Abby: Mom must work to overcome hostility toward her daughter

(Continued)

“I tried it with my daughter, going out of my way several times a day to express my love for her. It was awkward at first, but I persevered. I committed myself to loving that unlovable being, and slowly but surely, it paid off. At first, she would lean away, but eventually she would ask me to hold on ‘just one more minute.’

“My daughter is 24 now and on her own. Her life isn’t what I would have hoped for or expected, but that’s OK. I’m her touchstone for love and acceptance. I can’t imagine my life without her.”

Emma may be a difficult child, but she’s not stupid. She sees the difference between how you react to her half-sister and the way you treat her. A first step for you would be to apologize to her, put your arms around her and tell her that from now on you will try to do better as a mother. Emma didn’t ask to be born, and you owe her that.

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married 10 years. We didn’t have a wedding. Instead, we went to the courthouse — just the two of us with a couple of witnesses — and had a small reception a few months later.

Having been a part of some very nice weddings recently, I mentioned to my husband that I wished we would have done something more special for our wedding. Now he wants to renew our vows with a huge wedding ceremony. Would it be appropriate to have a big ceremony now?

Wondering in Iowa

Dear Wondering: I think it’s a wonderful idea. Ten years of wedded bliss is something to celebrate, and I see no reason why you shouldn’t do it with the ceremony of your dreams. Other couples have done it, and so can you.

---

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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