SalemNews.com, Salem, MA

Lifestyle

August 26, 2013

Dear Abby: Woman’s weekend lover is not about to go full time

:Dear Abby: I am a divorced woman in my mid-40s. I started dating again about two years ago, and shortly after, I met “Jed.” He is someone I’d love to spend the rest of my life with. We have been seeing each other for more than a year, and I’d like some sort of commitment. I have tried talking to him about it. All he’ll say is, “We’re committed and monogamous and that’s enough, so don’t start with me.”

We spend Thursday through Sunday together. Jed says Monday through Wednesday is his time to be alone. We don’t talk or see each other during that time. We may email or text, but I’m not allowed to go to his house or call him. I have told him I don’t want to still be packing for weekend trips to his house — it’s 10 minutes away — when I’m 80.

I also never know how Jed feels about me. He never tells me he loves me, and if I say it, he’ll say it back very quickly like it’s an inconvenience. He doesn’t compliment me or act like I’m important to him at all.

I’m financially stable but would have a better lifestyle if I could share the bills with someone. Marriage is not important, and I have explained that to him, but I want a full-time commitment. Am I wasting my time?

:Time’s A-Wastin’ In Georgia

:Dear Time’s A-Wastin’: Do you realize that not once in your letter did you mention anything POSITIVE Jed does for you? He has told you directly that this is as committed as he’s willing to get. Men who “love” women don’t forbid them from coming to their home or calling; in fact, they WELCOME them. Jed doesn’t say “I love you” unless he is cornered because it appears he DOESN’T love you.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Lifestyle
  • Wednesday's Best Bets Best Bets for Wednesday, Aug. 20

    Looking for something to do this afternoon? Check out The Salem News' Best Bets.

    August 20, 2014 1 Photo

  • Dear Abby: Husband who relives past should focus on present Dear Abby: I'm married to the love of my life. I can't imagine loving a man more than I love "Wayne," and I know he feels the same about me. The problem is, he's always telling stories about things he has done, including past relationships, in graphi

    August 20, 2014

  • Dear Abby: Young man with heart scar has options for covering it up Dear Abby: You printed a letter from "Self-Conscious in Georgia" (May 15), a young man who is insecure about the scar from his heart surgery. I have had three surgeries for congenital defects, my first at 2 years old. Because many women's fashions ex

    August 19, 2014

  • Dear Abby: Angry wife resents husband for hiding news of his health Dear Abby: When my husband is sick or needs to have surgery, he refuses to tell his family and doesn't want me to. This puts me in a very awkward position. I'm damned if I do tell them because he will be upset with me, and damned if I don't because h

    August 18, 2014

  • Dear Abby: Romantics should come back to earth Dear Abby: I have been single for a couple of years. I have always been levelheaded when it comes to romance, but I'm finding myself unable to control my feelings about the new man I'm seeing. "Brent" is smart, intelligent, sweet and loving. We have

    August 16, 2014

  • North Shore religion calendar Saturday, Aug. 16 Church Yard Sale, 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., Our Lady of Fatima Church, 50 Walsh Ave., Peabody. Church-sponsored yard sale features home furnishings, clothing, children's items, furniture and more. Portuguese food will also be available. All

    August 16, 2014

  • North Shore religion news in brief The Church of the Holy Name is seeking artists and crafters to participate in the Fall Arts and Craft Fair on Saturday, Sept. 20, from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. at the church, located at the corner of Monument Avenue and Thomas Road in Swampscott. A limited a

    August 16, 2014

  • This weekend's Best Bets Best Bets for Saturday, Aug. 16 and Sunday, Aug. 17

    Looking for something to do this weekend? Check out The Salem News' Best Bets.

    August 16, 2014 1 Photo

  • North Shore Gardener: Toad in your garden? That’s a good thing Q: There are several large toads -- some as big as a fist -- that live around the hosta on the shady side of my garden. They seem to especially like to be near the faucet, which sometimes leaks! Are they doing any harm? My small dog got one in his mo

    August 15, 2014

  • Dr. Kate's Parent Rap: Mission statement can help with co-parenting troubles More often than not, when I speak with parents today, they describe struggles with their children that originate in parenting conflicts. Parents often disagree when making daily decisions, and yet, they are steadfast in their beliefs that they share

    August 15, 2014

NDN Video
Comments Tracker