Julie Carpenter remembers the phone calls from faraway places such as Phoenix, Los Angeles and Dallas.
She would be driving her three kids to some rink for a practice or game, and her husband would call before he was set to coach, as an assistant, on an National Hockey League bench before 18,000 or so screaming fans.
Exciting, right?
"He would tell me, 'I wish I was going with you instead,'" she said of her famous hockey playing and coaching husband, Bobby Carpenter. "It killed him. He wanted to be home with me and the kids."
The Peabody native doesn't have to wish anymore. He is home.
Destined for a head coaching job in the NHL, Carpenter decided that dream, which is still there, can wait.
Having conquered the playing part - he was the first American to score 50 goals and won a Stanley Cup with the New Jersey Devils as a player in 1995 - the 43-year-old former St. John's Prep sensation was on the fast track to fulfill another dream, that of becoming a head coach for a National Hockey League team.
But something happened more than a year before that, during the season without hockey in the winter of 2004-05, when owners shut the game down for one season because of a "financial crisis."
"The lockout year made me realize the kids were getting older and were starting to do more stuff," Carpenter said. "It was eye-opening, because I realized I hadn't done anything compared to what I could be doing."
With head coaching offers possibly coming his way, Carpenter, a highly regarded assistant with the Devils, walked away from the bustling life of professional sports, packed his bags and moving truck in northern New Jersey, and brought his family home to Massachusetts.
"My mom had died two years ago, and Bobby's father had a stroke," Julie Carpenter said. "One day, Bobby said, 'What are we doing here? Let's go home.' My kids liked it in New Jersey, but this was always home to them. They loved it back here.
"We never spent our money foolishly, so we were well off enough where we could afford to have Bobby home," said Julie Carpenter, also a Peabody native. "So we made the decision."
While Carpenter loved being a part of the best hockey league in the world as a player and coach, it was time to leave.
"This is the best thing I ever did. I didn't know how much fun it would be with the kids, or I would have done this years ago," Carpenter said of his children Alexandra, 12; Robert "Bobo," 10; and Brandon, 8.
"I love being home every single morning for breakfast, for dinner every night," Carpenter said. "I didn't want to keep telling the kids I'm going on a seven-day road trip or staying in a hotel for two months during the playoffs."
Julie Carpenter, who was 13 when she began dating Bobby, then 15, says the move has been beneficial for her, too.
"My family is close by. I have three sisters and a brother so it's great to be around them so much," she says. "My kids are now in school so I was able to get my first part-time job at L.L. Bean a few months ago. It's nice to be able to talk to adults and other people."
Hockey still runs through Carpenter's veins.
He is an assistant coach on the Valley Junior Warriors, a perennial contender based in Haverhill, of the American Junior Hockey League, a league for wannabe college players ages 16 to 20.
It was one of Carpenter's ex-Bruins linemates, Bob Sweeney of North Andover, who asked him to join the Valley Junior Warriors organization. Sweeney is head coach of the Junior Warriors team for 10- and 11-year-olds, of which Bobo is a member.
Fred Devereaux, a Los Angeles Kings' head scout and the player development head for the Warriors, said it was a "no brainer" to have Carpenter join the program.
"You don't get a guy like Bobby Carpenter to come work in your program every day," said Devereaux, a top amateur golfer out of Ferncroft.
Not only does Carpenter assist as a coach on the junior team, but he also holds the title of "program director," monitoring all the coaches.
Two of Carpenter's three children play hockey in the Junior Warriors youth program. His daughter, Alex, is on the top Pee Wee team - she is the only girl - and among the best in the league.
Bobo is a steady performer on a team of 10- and 11-year-olds.
Brendan, the youngest, has no interest in hockey but is approaching a second-degree black belt just a few months shy of turning 9.
As for coaching his children, Carpenter draws the line there.
"They'll ask my opinion, but I won't coach them," he said. "I'm just there. I'm a firm believer that you can't coach your own kids. Help them, but not coach them."
Julie Carpenter, once a medalist with the North Shore Skating Club, has contributed to the skating skills of Alex and Bobo.
But Julie is most excited and delighted to have her husband around the house so much.
"He does everything, even makes the kids' lunches," she said.
Carpenter said he got into coaching (with the Albany River Rats of the American Hockey League) as a hobby, but the kids were infants then.
"It was tougher on me back then because the kids were so young and I was alone a lot," Julie Carpenter said. "But now that they are older and growing up so fast, they need their dad home."
Now, with his oldest almost a teenager, he realizes the respite from pro hockey was the the right choice.
"If Alex is interviewing at (Phillips) Andover, Brooks School, Governor's Academy or anywhere else, I want to be there with her," he said, "and not waiting to play the Avalanche in Colorado. I'd rather be stuck in traffic on Route 93 than be the NHL coach in St. Louis."
Carpenter said he hopes to return to the NHL in some coaching capacity ... when the time is right.
"I'm still young enough for that," he said. "At this time I didn't want to chase the dream of a head job. And even if it happened, in 10 years, chances are you'll be fired. What do you have then? The kids are grown and I've missed all that.
"I don't want to be one of those parents who regretted not being home for the kids," Carpenter said. "The kids need me, and I need them."
The Bobby Carpenter files
Is 43 years old, born July 13, 1963, at Beverly Hospital.
Led St. John's Prep to Division 1 state hockey championship in 1979.
Was on the cover of Sports Illustrated touted as "The Can't Miss Kid" as a senior at St. John's Prep in 1981.
Was drafted third overall in the 1981 NHL entry draft by the Washington Capitals.
Became the first American to make the jump from high school to the NHL.
Posted 53 goals in 1984-85 season, becoming the first U.S.-born player to reach the 50-goal mark.
Played 18 seasons in the NHL (Washington, N.Y. Rangers, Los Angeles, Boston and New Jersey).
Appeared in milestone 1,000th game on Oct. 19, 1996, in Hartford, Conn.
Won three Stanley Cups, one as a player and two as an assistant coach, all with the New Jersey Devils.
