SALEM — Patriots coach Bill Belichick may be a football genius but, in other ways, he's as mortal as the rest of us.
Take a little thing like sense of direction.
The man who guided the Patriots to three Super Bowl championships couldn't find his way to Salem on Wednesday night.
Belichick wanted to drive himself here for his speech at Salem State College. That seemed like a good idea until "game time" approached and the guest of honor was nowhere in sight.
Around 5:30 p.m., Mr. Super Bowl was driving through Peabody in his Toyota RAV4 looking more confused than the Pittsburgh Steelers trying to crack the New England defense. The pride of Patriot Nation even had a playbook — the college sent him directions — but that didn't seem to help.
It's possible Belichick fell victim to overconfidence — something he constantly warns his players about. He used to live in Andover and may have thought he knew the North Shore.
Finally, as precious seconds ticked off the clock, he got on the cell phone with his assistant, who was at the Hawthorne Hotel waiting for his boss to arrive for a pre-lecture dinner with Salem State donors and officials.
Can you picture the scene? It was almost like game day when the coach is on the field with a headset talking to assistant coaches in a booth upstairs. Or maybe it was like those old movies where the pilot collapses and the passenger, sweating profusely, has to fly the plane and is guided safely down by an air traffic controller.
Anyway, with an assistant giving instructions through the cell phone, Belichick came down Boston Street, turned left on Essex Street and headed into the downtown — where, like the rest of us, he got really lost. That's when a college staff member started calling signals. Belichick was told to take a left at the Dunkin' Donuts and a left at the base of Hawthorne Boulevard. Finally, he arrived safely — to everyone's great relief.
Let's hope this isn't an omen for next season.
By the way, everyone at the college loved the guy. They said he was friendly, genuine and couldn't have been nicer.
Patriots tailgaters
Believe it or not, there was a tailgate party for Belichick's lecture.
A group of about 10 people gathered on Day Avenue, about a block from the O'Keefe Sports Center, cooking sausage and peppers and having a great time.
"When we knew we were going, the first thing my fiancé said is, 'Let's tailgate,'" said Kathleen Kenahan of Marblehead, who works in the development office at the Plummer Home. "It was just like regular tailgating — we hung around at the back of our car."
Her fiancé, Dave Donovan of North Andover, has been a Patriots season ticket holder since 1977.
Kenahan's 14-year-old triplet boys were there — Sean, Kian and Trevor.
The beautiful people
Some of the most perfect men and women on the planet were in Salem this winter, and nobody noticed.
They were all models and came here in January to do a photo shoot for McGregor, an upscale clothing company based in the Netherlands.
So where did they go? The atrium at the Peabody Essex Museum? Chestnut Street?
Nope — they headed directly to Winter Island, the summer home of every Winnebago east of the Mississippi.
The models hooked up with Ribcraft, a Marblehead company that makes inflatable boats. "The goal of the shoot was to convey the feel of an Alaskan exploratory expedition," stated Matthew Velluto of Ribcraft. Let's hope the photos didn't show a sign in the background for "Waikiki Beach," which got that mis-name when the place was a Coast Guard station.
McGregor's fall-winter 2008 catalog features several pages of photos from Winter Island.
Goodbye, guys
The Fire Department will say goodbye to some of its finest next Friday, May 9.
There is a retirement party at the Knights of Columbus for Deputy Chief John Munroe, Capt. Joseph Peruffo, Lt. Tom Stevens, Lt. Gary Caron and firefighter Jack Rubin.
Stevens left more than a year ago but waited for a group to go out to have his party.
Dustin time
OK, you Red Sox fans. Get out your gloves, put on your hats and head over to Lynn tomorrow. The Salem Five Bank has got a big treat for you — 2007 Rookie of the Year Dustin Pedroia will be shaking hands and posing for photographs at the grand opening of a new bank branch.
The fun will take place from 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the Salem Five office at 35 Boston St.
Marathon man
Thousands of people were happy — almost ecstatic — to see Doug Bollen on Patriots Day.
That's because the city's park superintendent and about 15 other members of the Salem Wicked Running Club were handing out free PowerBar Gel to the 25,000-plus runners of the Boston Marathon last week.
Bollen, Health Agent Joanne Scott and the running club members were official Boston Marathon volunteers and were stationed at Mile 17, just before the runners turn the corner and pass the Newton firehouse.
By the time the runners reached the Salem crew, they had just endured the area where most dropouts occur — a stretch known as "Hell's Alley" where the road quickly plummets about 100 feet before steeply rising 55 feet.
"We got a lot of 'thank yous,'" said Bollen, who handed out strawberry- and vanilla-flavored running gels to refuel the marathoners.
Bollen estimates the running club handed out thousands of gel packets. Some were dropped and eventually trampled on by the runners, leaving many of them covered in sticky, fruit-flavored goo.
"The stuff just shoots everywhere," Bollen said.
Last year, the club handed out cups of water at Mile 7 in Ashland.
So was this a promotion?
"We were evaluating that," Bollen said. "Last year, there was bad weather, and it was more labor-intensive with water, but we got out of there early. This was a longer day."
Still, they'll get to keep the souvenir gray and red volunteer jackets they wore on Marathon Monday — but they'll probably want to wash them first.
On the Mark
Speaking of the runners, Mark Meche of Winter Street Architects successfully completed the Boston Marathon in under four hours and 30 minutes. While he was at it, he raised $19,000 for a cancer program at Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston.
Mark's 7-year-old son, Alexander, was diagnosed with a form of leukemia a few years ago and is now cancer-free.
Money for the homeless
The Salem Mission has been singing the praises of Steve DeOssie, the former Patriot who helped out at a fundraiser Tuesday night at The Landing restaurant in Marblehead.
The event raised $15,000.
Blowin' in the wind
There was supposed to be an important meeting of the Mayor's Renewable Energy Task Force on Wednesday night, but it got called off. Want to know why?
Our spies tell us a couple of members had tickets to see Belichick.
"Let's see now. Should we save the world or go hear a football coach talk X's and O's?"
So much for the world.
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