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May 6, 2009

Couple who lost two pregnancies help others

By Amanda McGregor

SALEM — Jay and Melanie Harper were elated when they learned they were expecting their first child.

An ultrasound at 10 weeks, however, revealed the worst news possible.

"We miscarried," said Jay Harper. "After that, it was a year or two of heartache and frustration and surgeries."

By 2005, Melanie was pregnant again. The couple was thrilled, but apprehensive after what they had suffered. By the time she passed the halfway mark (20 weeks), they breathed a sigh of relief.

That wouldn't last long.

At 22 weeks, Melanie went to the doctor feeling fine, but was confronted with the harrowing news that her cervix had opened and childbirth was imminent. She was placed on bed rest in Beverly Hospital, with her feet above her head to keep the baby inside as long as possible, but it didn't work.

Keona Harper was born prematurely and died shortly afterward.

"We swaddled him and got to hold our son," said Jay Harper. "He was the size of a flip-phone cell phone, all curled up. He was perfect in every way except for one: he was too small (to survive)."

Melanie, a middle school teacher, and Jay, a scientist, were devastated — and at a loss for answers.

"For me, life is about questions and trying to find answers to those questions," said Jay, who works in cancer research at Genzyme, a biotech company. "All we got were, 'We don't know.'"

"I had no pain, no signs and no symptoms," said Melanie, a seventh-grade social studies teacher at O'Maley Middle School in Gloucester.

Amid their grief, the Harpers decided to do something to help other families and premature infants. For Christmas, they donated what they would have spent on presents for their son to the March of Dimes, which works to prevent birth defects, premature birth and infant mortality.

"The first Christmas after Keona was born was awful," Jay said. "We had this expectation of having a baby for Christmas, and we love Christmas. It was a difficult time for us."

The Harpers have continued that tradition of donating at Christmas.

'The best sound'

The Harpers' lives have since taken a much brighter turn. Melanie became pregnant again, and doctors learned from Keona's death that Melanie had an "incompetent" (weak) cervix, which they were able to stitch together to help carry her pregnancy to term.

Their son, Ian, was born Dec. 9, 2006, full-term and healthy.

"Keona never let out a sound," said Jay. "Ian came out kicking and screaming for the first hour-and-a-half. It was the best sound we ever heard in our lives."

Ian's life has helped ease the Harpers' sorrow, and last year they decided they were ready to step up their involvement with the March for Dimes by walking in the organization's annual March for Babies.

"We sent out the first e-mail and we told our full story," Jay recalled. "Within two hours we were up to $1,500."

"Keona's Team" quickly raised $6,000 and grew to eight members. That included a $2,000 donation from Jay's company, Genzyme.

"We were floored," said Melanie, 36. "... And we participated in the march and it was fantastic. I felt so glad to be a part of something that could help other families and celebrate our memory of Keona."

This Saturday, not only will the Harpers walk again, but they are also an Ambassador Family for the March for Babies this year.

"To hear some survivors tell their tales, it's really heart-wrenching," said Jay. "Some people spent two months (in the neonatal intensive care unit) and their babies died. The March for Babies is what uplifted us to march with all these people."

On a mission

The nationwide walk was founded in 1970 and has raised $1.8 billion since, according to the March of Dimes Web site. The donations fund research, community support programs and education for expectant mothers.

"It's really become like a mission for us," said Melanie.

The Harpers, who live on Lathrop Street in Salem, sat in their living room on a recent evening and reflected on the whole experience, while Ian happily climbed over his parents' laps and crash-landed into the cushy sofa.

"It's definitely been a long road," said Jay, 38.

Melanie Harper is originally from Hawaii, which is why they named their first son Keona, which mean's "God's gift," Jay said.

They will be thinking of him during the 3-mile March for Babies on Saturday, which kicks off by the Hatch Shell on the Esplanade in Boston, along the Charles River.

Coincidentally, the Esplanade, in a way, is where it all began for the Harpers.

"We met in 1996 on the Esplanade, on the Fourth of July," said Jay Harper, "and it's where I proposed to Melanie."

Want to walk?

What: The March of Dimes' March for Babies

When: Saturday, May 9, 12:30 p.m.

Where: The Hatch Shell on the Esplanade, Boston

Registration: Starts at 11:30 a.m. Call 508-366-9066 or visit www.marchforbabies.org

Questions or support: E-mail Jay Harper at Jay.Harper@genzyme.com

March for Babies by the numbers

3,000 — Boston residents expected to walk in the event

1,000 — Strollers in the stroller brigade

1,500 — Pounds of food served at the event

900 — Communities across the country where the march will take place

$1.8 billion — Money raised since the first walk in 1970

Source: March of Dimes

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