To the editor:
I would like to extend our thanks to everyone in the Salem community for their help and support of my husband, Tim Van Wey, who was seriously injured in an automobile accident in December.
Our deepest gratitude goes to the first responders in North Andover and all of the doctors, nurses and staff members at Lawrence General, Beth Israel Deaconess and Spaulding North Shore, whose expertise and care saved Tim's life and will eventually bring him home.
The outpouring of support from my colleagues at Salem State University, our neighbors and friends, the South Salem Neighborhood Association, and others in the city of Salem has been tremendous. Tim's colleagues and students at Andover High School have also responded with concern and encouragement.
My sister, Rita, my brother, Frank, and our niece, Emily, traveled here for different periods of time, so that I would not be alone and to help me in immeasurable ways.
When a crisis hits someone close to you, oftentimes people don't know what to do or say. Here's what has been most helpful to us over these past four weeks:
Don't call the house or cellphone. Telephones become the lifeline to doctors, nurses, police, insurance adjusters and other people who cannot be put on hold or identified by caller ID. Any concern that can be expressed on the phone should be put in writing, delivered to the house or sent in a card or by email. Call only if you believe your call is more important than calls from doctors and nurses.
Cards were very comforting to Tim and to me. When I couldn't sleep, I reread the cards — even Christmas cards from people who didn't know about the accident — and they helped me go back to sleep. Sticky notes on newspapers delivered to our house were appreciated. The highlight of Tim's day has been reading the cards and messages sent to us.
Simple things mattered. Neighbors offered use of their driveways and visitor parking passes and collected our trash barrels from the street. Chocolate bars, quarters for parking meters, a book of stamps and offers to pick up items at Crosby's were touching. Food deliveries (only if expected — no surprises) and invitations for quiet dinners in people's homes meant a great deal to my family members and me.
As Rita said, the most important things in life are not things. Thanks again to everyone who helped us through the most difficult period of our lives.
Best wishes for 2012.
Pat Markunas
Salem
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