To the editor:
Last week I had the opportunity to spend some significant time with a parent of a middle-school student whose son, Ryan, tragically committed suicide in October 2003 because of relentless bullying from his peers at his school in Vermont.
The majority of the bullying took place over the computer. The father's name is John Halligan. His message was clear and concise and for close to 90 minutes in our auditorium he explained in great detail how kids can bully other kids to the point of desperation. This was by far one of the most heart-wrenching assemblies I have attended in 20 years in education.
A parent night was also offered for parents of students in grades K-12 the night before, to prepare parents for what their children would hear the next day. The program was made available by the newly created School Climate Task Force — a group of administrators, guidance counselors and parents that look at the climate of schools across the district. The assembly was exclusively for middle- and high-school-age students.
Mr. Halligan spoke of how his son was not the most gifted athlete in the school and that, in fact, he was not athletic at all. He said his son had learning disabilities that had affected his self-esteem. According to his father, Ryan was a gentle 13-year-old who was fumbling his way through early adolescence trying to establish his place in the world.
He then talked of the heartache he and his family is experiencing and will always experience, realizing that nothing will ever bring Ryan back to them. The students were visibly moved by his presentation.
Mr. Halligan talked in great detail about all the inappropriate bullying that takes place on the Internet, also known as cyber-bullying. He encouraged parents to be vigilant and make sure they are keeping an eye on the amount of time kids spend on the computer talking with friends. He also strongly suggested that parents have knowledge of passwords to their kids' accounts in the event they need to understand what their children are doing online.
It's the parent's responsibility to know what their kids are doing or not doing. There's so much at stake.
When Mr. Halligan finished his emotional remarks, the students immediately gave him a prolonged standing ovation that clearly overwhelmed him. Time was provided to ask questions and students used it to thank Mr. Halligan and to express their sorrow for what he and his family had to go through. Some students hoped that Mr. Halligan's message will change behavior.
Let's hope that's the case. The schools will follow up to make sure that this objective is realized.
Much has been written in the media about bullying in Massachusetts of late. The tragedy in South Hadley is just another example of how desperately serious this problem has become.
The schools and the local police departments cannot address it alone. We need parent involvement to create a united front to protect our children.
Currently in Massachusetts there is not an anti-bullying law on the books. Ironically, Massachusetts is one of a handful of states across the country that doesn't have a law to protect people from bullying.
At the present time there is a bill being sponsored on Beacon Hill that would address this problem. I would encourage people to call state Sen. Bruce Tarr, R-Gloucester, and state Rep. Brad Hill, R-Ipswich, and state Rep. Ann-Margaret Ferrante, D-Gloucester, and strongly encourage them to support this bill. Together this problem can be dramatically reduced if everyone expresses the need for change. It's clear that we can't afford to do nothing.
Paul F. Murphy
Assistant Principal
Manchester Essex Regional High School
Manchester-by-the-Sea
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