By Amanda McGregor
Staff writer
May 09, 2008 10:00 pm DANVERS — When Barbara Bergman gave birth to her twin boys in 1957, she was beyond elation. She and her husband had tried for years to have a child, and now they had two. But she also felt overwhelmed caring for two babies at once. "Frankly, I was at a loss," she recalled. "What was I to do with these two? How do you feed two babies at once? I didn't know anyone else with twins." Then she learned of a twin mothers group in Arlington, so she set out to establish a club on the North Shore. She placed an ad in the newspaper, and 13 women turned up to the first meeting at her Danvers home on a bitingly cold evening in February 1958. Thirty-five mothers attended the second meeting, and by the third, there were 75 women looking to share advice, questions and friendship — bonds that have continued to blossom over generations. Now, North Shore Mothers of Multiples is celebrating its 50th anniversary, and still going strong. "I consider this my third child," Bergman said of the club, which was originally called North Shore Mothers of Twins, "and it would not still be going if not for the hard work and devotion of all these girls who carry it on, all the while raising twins and triplets." Salem resident Jane Davidowicz attended the very first meeting, and she and Bergman have been friends since. Davidowicz used to drive her pink Cadillac and pick up prospective club members so they could get to a meeting. "It was a lot of fun," said Davidowicz, 93, who had twin boys and three daughters. "I'd do it all over again." It delights the founding members that so many mothers have carried the torch and kept the club's mission at heart: to provide a welcoming environment for mothers in all stages of rearing their multiple-birth children, from pregnancy onward. "We made women feel accepted," said Bergman, 81, "which I think is one of the reasons the club is still in existence, because it is a friendly organization." Twice as much to deal with Angie Dionne and her husband were shocked when they found out they were expecting twin girls, who are now 5. "I remember worrying about the silliest things," said Dionne, of Beverly, "like I wouldn't be able to tell them apart and I would ruin their lives." Dionne said she was "hooked" after her first NSMOM meeting. She was president of the organization last year and is now chairwoman of the 50th anniversary celebration to be held Wednesday, June 11, at the Danversport Yacht Club. "Because you're dealing with twice as much, it's hard," Dionne said. "Don't get me wrong because it's wonderful, but I had no one to talk to really. ... The club is a big part of my life because I believe in it, and I want these moms to have the same experience. You also make friendships outside the meetings." The mothers need that support and camaraderie. "They're beautiful," Davidowicz said of having twins, "but when they both start crying, watch out." The club has evolved with time, launching a Web site and incorporating more technology and resources into its offerings. "I don't think I could keep up with these girls today," Bergman said with a laugh. She is an honorary lifetime member. There is an extensive library and phone numbers mothers can contact with questions about preemies, acid reflux, potty training, heart conditions, school and dozens of other concerns. "You have a higher-risk pregnancy," Dionne said, "and, unfortunately, birth defects are much higher and you have that scare of preemie labor so you have a lot more fears. But at the same time, it's more exciting because you are expecting two (or more)." The club meets the second Wednesday of every month at the First Baptist Church in Danvers, and there are support circles at each meeting where people break off into groups for new moms, older moms, expecting moms and more. There is also a Big Sister Little Sister program that connects women who have similarities. "I've seen the club change quite a big over the last few years," Dionne said, "but that foundation always remains strong, which is why I think it has existed for so long." And some things never change. There is still a monthly newsletter called "The Duet," which is its original name, in which mothers still advertise things that they need, or that they are ready to pass onto other moms — like double- and triple-strollers. A baby for each arm The group also provides the chance to talk parenting philosophy and share advice about emphasizing individuality when society often treats multiples as "one." There are always two birthday cakes, different presents and allowing separate activities. "We encouraged them to be individualistic," Bergman said of her twins, Keith and Carl, who are now 51. "If I ever felt I was favoring one of them, I would pick the other one up and give him attention, and so would my husband." When they think back on it, Bergman and Davidowicz wonder how they had so much energy to start the club from scratch. They spent many nights a week forming subcommittees and planning meetings and events. "My boys were 1 when I started the club," Bergman said while sitting in Davidowicz's living room on a recent afternoon, "and they were like bookends always running in opposite directions." Davidowicz's boys, Michael and Stephen, were mischievous and would try to slip away. Neighbors found them wandering in the nearby Green Lawn Cemetery one time. "I used to console myself," Bergman said, "with, 'I have one baby for each arm. What would I do if I had triplets?'" "Whatever you can think of, we did," she recalled of the club. "It's a great organization. It really is."
Want to go? What: North Shore Mothers of Multiples 50th Anniversary Banquet When: Wednesday, June 11, 5 to 11 p.m. Where: Danversport Yacht Club Features: Raffle, silent auction, door prizes, games, hors d'oeuvres and dinner Cost: $35 To sign up: Contact Angie Dionne at 978-922-8630 or visit www.nsmom.org
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