Witches Brew

Salem Scopes: What's in the stars for you at SHS?


The Witches Brew
Published: January 10, 2008

Aries (March 21-April 19): Today you may stumble upon a previously unknown swimming pool on a previously unknown floor.

Taurus (April 20- May 20): Don't be alarmed if a falling ceiling tile strikes you. It will be your lucky day, once you regain consciousness.

Gemini (May 21-June 20): If you can see green lockers and orange doorways, then you're on blue floor.

Cancer (June 21- July 22): Your birthday may fall between June 21st and July 22nd.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 23): If Janitor John tries to tell you a story today, listen. Chances are it will change your life.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): See Capricorn.

Libra (Sept. 3-Oct. 23): Today is not a good day to call "The Floor is Lava." In fact, no day is a good day to call " The Floor is Lava."

Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22): If you hear the song "Bad Boys" in the hallways, watch out. Mr. Shevory is on the hunt.

Sagittarius (Nov. 23- Dec. 21): If a construction worker in a crane is outside your English Class window, don't be surprised to see that he actually isn't doing anything. He may just be trying to get a free education.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): See Virgo.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19): You may expect MTV's True Life to come to Salem High any time now.

Pisces (Feb. 20- March 20): If you suddenly here the words "Have a Marvelous Monday" come from nowhere, do not be fooled. It's not God.