Aries (March 21-April 19): Today you may stumble upon a previously unknown swimming pool on a previously unknown floor.
Taurus (April 20- May 20): Don't be alarmed if a falling ceiling tile strikes you. It will be your lucky day, once you regain consciousness.
Gemini (May 21-June 20): If you can see green lockers and orange doorways, then you're on blue floor.
Cancer (June 21- July 22): Your birthday may fall between June 21st and July 22nd.
Leo (July 23-Aug. 23): If Janitor John tries to tell you a story today, listen. Chances are it will change your life.
Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): See Capricorn.
Libra (Sept. 3-Oct. 23): Today is not a good day to call "The Floor is Lava." In fact, no day is a good day to call " The Floor is Lava."
Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 22): If you hear the song "Bad Boys" in the hallways, watch out. Mr. Shevory is on the hunt.
Sagittarius (Nov. 23- Dec. 21): If a construction worker in a crane is outside your English Class window, don't be surprised to see that he actually isn't doing anything. He may just be trying to get a free education.
Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): See Virgo.
Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 19): You may expect MTV's True Life to come to Salem High any time now.
Pisces (Feb. 20- March 20): If you suddenly here the words "Have a Marvelous Monday" come from nowhere, do not be fooled. It's not God.
